What a year this has been! Joyous and full of adventure, discovery, grace; scattered with a thorough helping of warring, discouragement and confusion. How very thankful I am for a Father who has not left my side for a moment along the way. When the world had failed me and I've felt alone, still He had my back. Still His touch and song was interwoven through my every moment, regardless how miniscule it may have been.
Instead of a new years resolution, each year I ask Papa for a word he wants me to learn the meaning of.
For 2015, He gave me "assertiveness".
And so my goal for the year was to grow in my assertion, to learn to speak the truth, even if my voice shook. To uphold justice for those that have no voice, to stand more firm in my convictions and decisions.
It's been my hardest word yet, and I learned it through fire, in courts and horrific situations. I feel proud of myself, that now, despite an entire life of being trodden over by other people and their injustices, I have learned how to speak up. I have learned the difference between compromising and giving up when a stand should be made. And I could not have done it without the grace of God. At times being assertive this year has almost crushed my spirit, but each time, the quiet but roaring presence of Papa and His Spirit has gotten me to the other side.
In the quiet moments today I've been asking Him for my 2016 word.
It is "contentment".
To learn that whatever my situation- financially, physically, relationally- that my joy is found in Him. That without Him I have nothing, but with Him I have absolutely everything.
That whatever is happening - good or bad - to be content in Him and to give thanks for He is good.
"But this situation is horrifically bad and I should be in despair over it" NEVERTHELESS, HE is good, and so I can give thanks to Him and let my joy be found in Him.
"But I have nothing in this moment." NEVERTHELESS, HE is good, and so I can give thanks to Him and let my joy be found in Him.
I am looking forward to learning this word. It will be hard, but it shall be so worth it.
I love this song by Audrey Aussad:
From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God
From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God
From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
(https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m2SvTqlZ9KM)
This is my prayer for 2016- that I would be intoxicated with the taste of His goodness, so that everything else fades to black and only He remains. Eyes only on Him. Content wherever life may take me, because my heart is for Him and His is for me.
May 2016 bring you joy. May it be a year that you discover who you are. May you begin to know God in an entirely new way that you had never fathomed.
Love Madeline
